Someone close is thinking about suicide: spot the signs, talk, call 3114
What is this for
Are you worried about a friend, family member or colleague? 3114, the national suicide prevention line, also helps relatives and friends: free, 24/7. Talking about suicide with someone does not put the idea in their head. On the contrary, it lets them express their pain. This sheet follows the advice of 3114.
Important points
- Warning: Suicidal thoughts must always be taken seriously, even if the person talks about them often. Only a professional can assess the danger: call 3114.
- Note: At 3114, a trained nurse or psychologist answers. The call is confidential. You will be asked to introduce yourself and give your contact details, so they can help you.
- Note: In a child or teenager, suicidal talk or behaviour must always lead to a consultation with a professional.
Steps to follow
Step 1: Immediate danger: call 15 or 112 and stay with the person
If the person has a specific plan to kill themselves soon, call 3114 or, in immediate danger, 15 or 112. Try not to leave them alone.
Step 2: Spot the warning signs
Mood changes, withdrawal, disturbed sleep, alcohol or drugs, loss of interest. Be very alert if the person says "soon you will be rid of me", says goodbye, gives away belongings or looks for ways to kill themselves.
Step 3: Start the conversation without judging
Say what you have noticed: "I am worried about you. Are you going through something difficult?" Listen. If you are worried, ask clearly: "Are you thinking about suicide?"
Step 4: Avoid phrases that minimise
Do not say "it will be fine" or "think of your family". These phrases can make the person feel guilty. Say instead: "Thank you for telling me. I am here for you."
Step 5: Never promise to keep it secret
Explain that you are telling others because you are worried, not to betray them. Offer to call 3114 together.
Step 6: Remove dangerous means
If possible, prevent access to means of self-harm: lock the medicine cabinet, hand any firearm in to the police, avoid stocks of alcohol or toxic products.
Step 7: Look after yourself too
You are a friend or relative, not a therapist. Set your limits, rest and ask for support. You can call 3114 for yourself.
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